Two weeks to take a song from conception to completion to competition!

The Legend of Ron Peart-Skillson

This song was created for Game of Bands round 123 : "Modernized Fairy Tales"


It was Calculus III and Charlie needed help
Everyone said “to Chloe you should yelp”
She knew the Greek word that “physics” had come from
But in the subject itself it could be said she was quite dumb

She couldn’t refuse, it was on Charlie that she crushed
But calculus left her brain feeling super mushed
There was a guy she knew, maybe she could confide in
His name was Ron, his name was Ron Peart-Skillson

He said he’d help her help the guy
If only one favor of his she would oblige
Being a nerd he only had one demand
He’d help if only she would hold his hand

“Strange” she thought but not so out of line
She said “alright then maybe just this one time”
And so he showed what she needed to show him
After he made full-on contact with her limb

Charlie’s grades improved, he was so impressed
With Chloe he had hopes of passing the coming test
But maybe she could help him with his Latin
For her the wrong branch of Indo-European

But Ron got a 5 on the AP Latin test
Peritus Latine legendi he was truly blessed
“Would you help me again please?” so silently she asked
“Te adiuvabit; that means ‘I’ll help you’” he did broadcast

Whenever she needed help there he would be
Ever intelligent was he
Ready to help for an uncomfortable price
This time “for this, a kiss would be nice”

With a groan and an eye roll she consented
To his pathetic demands having been presented
Again Charlie did well and Chloe was glad
Her chances with him were not half bad

But then it was that he had a test
On yet another subject not her best
And again to Ron she asked for assistance
But his great demand was the horizontal dance

“Hell to the no!” she said,
Not out loud but in her mind “I'd rather be dead”
But he pressed her and finally got a deal
“If Charlie passes, which he will, you must figure what I feel”

“You must guess and guess which fetish is my favorite”
She agreed, for knowledge she had a bit
Days before she had seen him close a folder
It was femdom she saw from above his shoulder

So when Charlie had passed the exam
He told Chloe “oh my God thank you fam”
So she went off to find Ron
And tell him what it was that turned him on

Ron was ready for this to go on long
Little did he know he was so wrong
“Femdom,” she said with no trepidation
“That's what helps you with your… uh... self celebration”

He wanted to draw this out, he was so confused
Ruined he was like the men in his videos, abused
“How am I supposed to enjoy this?
Couldn't you try to start guessing with piss?”

So she chewed him out to hell,
Maybe it'd get him off well
Yelled and yelled at him she did
But he ran away and hid

Because that idiot took it literally.


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