Two weeks to take a song from conception to completion to competition!

One Man Band

This song was created for Game of Bands round 13 : "Only 2 Forms of Instrumentation"

Lyrics:

I was standing near Penn Station
Someone tried to sell me crack
I was saying, ?No, not me man?
When I heard a sudden crack
I woke up in the gutter
Almost hit by someone?s car
And that was when I noticed that
They?d stolen my guitar

New York City?s last surviving one-man band
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band
They wouldn?t keep on mugging me
If they could understand
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band

Well, I wish they hadn?t taken my piano,
I?d play . . .

Well, I went down to Ground Zero
I was feeling kind of down
I want to be a local hero
But it?s not that kind of town
Three hookers tried to stab me
As I stared into the pool
They took my precious fiddle
Then they played ?Three Maids from School?

New York City?s last surviving one-man band
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band
They wouldn?t keep on mugging me
If they could understand
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band

Well, I wish they hadn?t taken my banjo,
I?d play . . .

I went to Greenwich Village
To drink off that last attack
But I felt a shotgun?s pressure
In the center of my back
Tiny old man in a Stetson
Tells me in a raspy voice
?Your life or your harmonica!
Now, hurry up ? your choice.?

New York City?s last surviving one-man band
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band
They wouldn?t keep on mugging me
If they could understand
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band

Well, I wish they hadn?t taken my harmonica,
I?d play . . .

I was looking for some comfort
I was feeling quite bereft
I used to have twelve instruments
And now I?d just three left
I was roughed up by a tranny
Down on Seventh Avenue
His performance was uncanny
On my stolen best kazoo

New York City?s last surviving one-man band
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band
They wouldn?t keep on mugging me
If they could understand
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band

Well, I wish they hadn?t taken my kazoo,
I?d play . . .

Going back to California
To protect my new guitar
Where the people don?t all scorn ya
And they recognize a star
I can still afford to fly there
I?m not quite reduced to rags
I would book a flight this morning
But they always steal my bags

New York City?s last surviving one-man band
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band
They wouldn?t keep on mugging me
If they could understand
I?m New York City?s last surviving one-man band

Well, I wish they hadn?t taken my ukulele
I?d play . . .
[Exit]

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