Two weeks to take a song from conception to completion to competition!

Night of the Living Sled

This song was created for Game of Bands round 132 : "Christmas"



In the dark night of christmas
the stockings were hung
gifts were promised us
And the hymns were all sung

The fire was roaring
the shades were all drawn
Kids asleep, snoring
The guests were all gone

Toy blocks set as castles
pillow forts they had made
Can't compare to the hassles
of building wood barricades

Stringing barbed wire
where the lights should have been
to prepare for the slaughter
The reindeer could bring in

After Santa was shot down
In dark North Korea
He arose from that sad ground
Undead with ideas

He would now mete out vengeance
where he used to give toys
The world will pay penance
He'll kill girls and eat boys

With 10 elven demons
Riding along on the sleigh
Death dealing heathens
Smelled of blood and decay

The reindeer all had red noses
But so were their eyes
Anyone who opposes
Would be eaten alive

So I stood by the window
Shotgun in my hand
Looking above and below
A possible last stand

My gloves were all worn thin
From nailing wood beams
Then in the distance I heard them
Janging bells and dark screams

I branced for the impact
a sliegh hitting the roof
I heard heavy hooves, footsteps
The moment of truth

They can't use the chimney
With the fire below
But I looked forward grimly
to face this night in the snow

HO HO Zombie Santa
He jumped all the way down
Slugged 3 shots of mylanta
Time to take out this clown

My wife had the flamethrower
And was ready to burn
But we gagged at the odor
of St Nick's foul return

The raindeer barked and bit hard
on the wood from the door
The elves caught us off guard
by coming up through the floor

So I used a sledgehammer
Very lively and quick
There isn't much glamor
Smashing elves of St. Nick

We shot through the mail slot
A death dealing game
And as they melted and got shot
We laughed and called them by name

Die dasher
Die dancer
Die prancer
Burn vixen
Melt comet
On cupid
You can donder
Our blitzen

I shot off Santa's hat
My wife burned his belly
Reloaded my gat
While she turned him to jelly

With napalm death
Being shot from the barrel
Our hot smoking breath
Chanted no christmas carols

And then with a bray and yell
I heard on the roof
as Rudolph fled back to hell
I shot at his hooves

But I think that I hit him
As he flew out of sight
And so it was written
What a damned christmas night



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