Socks (Traction for Christmas)
This song was created for Game of Bands round 84 : "Christmas Horrificus"
Verse 1: Socks! Just socks! All that he brought me was socks! That red, jolly fat man, that hood-winking bag man, just brought me an old pair of socks! I asked for it all… I was good since late fall… but lo, and behold , just some socks. Bridge: This year there will be no milk. No plate of frosted cookies. No stockings hung on the mantle, and no lit and trimmed fucking tree! Chorus: This year, I'm done with his shit! I don't even have me a list! When his fat ass rolls down through my chimney, he'll meet the business end of my fist! I'm sending Santa to traction for Christmas. Spoken Interlude: This isn't the first time... for years now... forgetting me. Ignoring me. Remember last year? My onyx chalice? I put it in bold on my Christmas list. Where was it? Remember when I was 15? Those hot topic gift cards I asked for? Just to treat myself to a little something. I never got those. Remember when I wanted that Remote control car, the baseball glove, the Power Ranger action figure... when I was such a good kid that year Why did you forget me... What the fuck, Santa... Verse 2: Fuck Donner and Dancer and Blitzen It’s time to darken the lights. This year I won’t get my hopes up. This year I put up a fight. I’ll never wear red and green fucking paisley, Everything in my closet is silver and black! I only ever wear skulls, chains and crossbones So shove these fucking things back in your sack. Chorus 2: No more of my joy for this asshole From now on, you can call me a Scrooge. He’ll have a hard time keeping his weigh up, While he eats from a fucking tube! I’m sending Santa. To traction. FOR CHRISTMAS!