Two weeks to take a song from conception to completion to competition!

The New Adventures of Florida Man

This song was created for Game of Bands round 115 : "Florida Man"


Faster than a cat in the marlins outfield
Fewer brain cells than a locomotive
Able to fly off bridges with stolen sausages
Look up in the sky
It’s a drunk, It’s a crack addict, it’s Florida Man
Yes, It’s Florida Man.
Strange visitor from this planet who was born of earth with
Powers and abilities they think are far below those of mortal men
Florida Man, defiles washing machines at laundromats, gets “Ryan Reynolds” tattooed on his butt in comic sans
And who, disguised as Santa Claus, attempts to sell drugs,
Fights a never ending battle, for truth justice and america's stupidest way.
And now another exciting episode in the new adventures of Florida Man.

Another day, another tale
A scuba bong and massive fail
Florida man loses more than his nerves
When filling a tank with the dreaded herb
Friends can’t help you now
They just stop and laugh
When your brain is filled
With less than bubble bath
Rushing to the hospital
Not enough to save his balls
Despite the fact he’s tough as nails
His gene pool was built to fail

Cool, calm and collected,
He saves us every day
From being that fatally stupid
That there’s no other way
To see that what he’s doing
Could really end us all
Florida Man
The worst superhero of them all

Driving is for losers,
Take the water to be cool
But Florida man lets 13 year olds
Drive kids of merely 2.
Rolling to the river
Submerged beneath the blue
Another chance to show
That he doesn’t have a clue
Wanting to be perfect
Wanting to rad
Florida man the idiot
That makes a good thing bad.


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